


If You Want Me To Talk About Regrets

by Sh10ra



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Abuse, Gen, Hazbin Hotel Pilot 21:41-the fic, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mild Sexual Content, Most of canon couples are together but I wasn't sure about tagging them, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, including but not limited to:
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:09:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sh10ra/pseuds/Sh10ra
Summary: Alastor takes it upon himself to drag an old friend of his to design the webpage of the hotel as it’s his greatest idea so far. Rumor has it; the artist is no other than a secretive freak with way too many rules. The “but” in the equation is that the No.1 of said rules is: the one demon in all nine circles of hell money won’t make him paint is no other than Angel Dust.Needless to say, Alastor is the only one who thinks this is a good idea.
Kudos: 2





	If You Want Me To Talk About Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I was sad. Eventually the thing developed an actual plot so I thought to myself: "Fuck it, I may as well post this monster". I was so sure that I wouldn't post it that the chapters are named after random quotes. I hope you enjoy this disaster because it has been very fun to write.

Every time someone knocked on the door of the hotel, a member of the staff would yell ‘not again’. A conditioned reflex if you will. Could this one be a good omen? Unlikely. Well, Charlie still hoped from her seat; optimism overcoming hesitation. 

The first time someone knocked the door, it revealed a flamboyant boy of easy laughter and wicked grins. Behind the flare of his sharp smile shone a reputation questionable at best. The perfect mask for a flawless performer. One with enough stories hidden under the hem of his skirt to make a movie and several sequels. 

The second time, it was one of the most power-wielding demons in all nine circles of hell. An entity so mighty that reduced every little sound to pure static as soon as he walked into a room. And whose boredom was so complete and utter that he decided to help them —like community service. 

As new occupants checked in and new members of the staff joined the hotel, things got even more disastrous. This time Charlie was welcomed by a silhouette less ominous than she reckoned at first. The demon in front of Charlie looked almost shorter than her. Hoodie at least 2 sizes bigger than him, ripped black jeans and combat boots with platforms. His hair fell into dark blue tentacles —shoulder length and disheveled— and hid most of his face with the hood on. Upon her opening the door, he pulled it back like a gentleman would take off his hat. His presence wasn’t amiable but couldn’t be considered as threatening. It was there and made Charlie anxious like a judgmental teacher would. 

“Good morning, miss. By any chance are you the manager? If that’s the case, may I borrow some of your time?” Charlie expected a boyish voice. Instead, the one Charlie heard was soft spoken and lower in tone. She spent at least a minute staring at this young man. And would've continued if the guy hadn't moved his hand in front of her face to catch her attention. Several times. “Excuse me, miss?” 

When he lowered his head to look for her eyes, Charlie could only see bright light blue. Bright enough to look luminescent, “I’m the manager! Come on in, please!” There was a brief moment of silence that swept over the main hall. That octopus demon walked in with the most deadpan expression on his face, unreadable. But from the tension on his shoulders and the way his eyes fixed on every detail, he was on edge. “By the way, what brings you here? We haven't gotten many guests yet.”

Before Charlie could ask the purpose of his visit, a distorted voice interrupted her train of thoughts. A dark presence appearing out of thin air. “My dear friend, you came! What do you think about this place, Tama? Isn’t it charming?” Alastor questioned with an arm around the guy’s shoulders. He was much shorter than Alastor in spite of being using platforms. 

“Just as you described it.” The guy Alastor addressed as Tama shortly replied with the phantom of a smile curling his lips upwards. “Let’s get down to business, shall we Ms. Magne?” Alastor must’ve actually mentioned who she was. As soon as Charlie said she was the manager, it was clear. 

“Charlie is fine! My name is Charlie!” 

Once again a faint but polite smile. “Ms. Charlie,” only then she noticed the guy was carrying a black briefcase with a couple of buttons on it she couldn’t quite recognize, “would you mind showing me your office? I’d prefer to discuss the details in private first and then ask for more feedback from the staff.”

Charlie didn’t understand what was happening. “There’s no actual office at the moment. We’re setting it up! Yeah… setting it up…” She confessed, to her own dismay. “Make yourself comfortable on the couch over there.” In spite of being functioning for a good few months, the building was still pretty much in chambers. They did their best but they had limited resources.

Tama nodded without giving it much of a thought, his eyes as soft as they could be. It was a deliberate action from start to finish. Charlie couldn’t help but feel like a curious cat was staring at her, trying to read her every move. “What’s this guy doing here?” She muttered to Alastor in a hushed voice. 

“Oh Darling, I hired him to redesign the webpage of the hotel.” Alastor sat by Tama’s side and gestured to Charlie to sit to his other side. “He’s the best of his kind!”

Tips of Tama’s tentacles turned a little darker in color but his posture and facial expression remained the same, “Al, I just happen to know the basics of computer programming. Unlike you, old sport.” Charlie was clueless about how this man, who to the naked eye looked absolutely harmless, was so comfortable around the bodily impersonation of any demon’s worst nightmares. “Ms. Charlie, would you mind showing me your webpage?” 

Charlie typed the url feeling not exactly proud of herself. In that expensive laptop her improvised design looked thousand times worse. Tama blinked a few times, half in disbelief and half as if that messy homepage actually hurt his eyes to watch. Charlie had to resist the urge to sigh in relief when he didn’t make further comments —out of sheer politeness. She knew the whole webpage was a complete disaster. 

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he took a sketchbook and a pen from his briefcase. “Let me see… from what I can assume, the color palette you have is black and red, right?” Tama started taking notes, “why did you use the default white...?” He almost sounded offended, “never mind. In that case we can use certain shades of brown and cream colors so the contrast won’t be so ‘dramatic’. Maybe some shades of orange? I mean, in case you want something bolder but I’m not sure how well that would fit. The whole theme has to be in warm colors and keep the sort of aesthetic? the building has. Attractive but not setting extremely high hopes since you’re just starting.”

Before they noticed, there was a small crowd gathered around them. Even Vaggie seemed interested enough to message her asking who the guy was. Tama was completely focused on the sketch so Charlie wasn’t sure if she could ask questions or not. Alastor on the other hand didn’t mind, “do you see some hope for these poor unfortunate souls?”

“Don’t be so cruel, Al. She didn’t know what she was designing and people aren't necessarily born with a gift for business management and graphic design. That’s why people like you and me come handy.” Tama’s light blue eyes never even once left the paper or the pen stopped moving, “you should be more grateful Al. Finding a place where _you_ don’t feel bored is a whole new level of life achievement for someone like you. I feel like a proud dad.” 

After no longer than 10 minutes Tama showed her the sketch, “I kept your rainbow, it’s your hotel after all. The colors would be more opaque so it won’t disrupt much the color scheme. What do you think, Ms. Charlie? I can make any changes you want at this stage. The rest of the webpage would be modified to fit the same color palette and style.”

In all honesty, it looked so much better. She could very much start tearing up, “I love it…” Charlie knew her excitement was palpable, almost making her bounce on her end of the couch, “can you make the webpage look like this?” 

Tama nodded diligently, “of course, that’s what I’m here for.” 

Niffty climbed on the back of the couch poking at Tama’s tentacles that retracted to every touch. “Seems like it will take you awhile. I hope you don’t leave cigarette butts all over the place.” Niffty’s smile of sharp teeth made Tama let out a nervous laughter.

“I brought the electric one, Apple pie. This is an All-nighter. Do you have energy drinks here? Because I may need some. Also, it’s okay for me to use the bar? I need to use the digital pad for some things. Oh, hey Husk!” 

Husk rolled his eyes but that counted as a greeting, “does coffee and booze do the trick, kiddo? Or you still settle for bleach?”

“Can you make it double?”

“Coffee or booze?”

“Both.”

* * *

After 5 hours behind a screen and 3 cups of Irish —let’s be honest, that shit wasn’t scotch— Husk was amazed that this kid had managed to only have the faintest shade of pink on his cheeks. He wasn’t going easy on Tama; each cup was half cheap whiskey. No matter how many times you witness it, an Asian with an alcohol tolerance as high as his was pure alcoholism. Still a big contrast against his pale purplish skin. 

The strokes were firm and constant, he replied every question without taking his eyes away from the screen or even looking at what his hand was doing. Husk himself wouldn’t actually pay attention to him if it wasn’t for Niffty being distracted braiding Tama’s tentacles. Tama didn’t push her away, wasn’t comfortable but let her do as she pleased without a single complaint. Perhaps it was the closest to an ‘I missed you’ Tama would say.

“Did you learn how to change their color now? Can you make patterns? You only do fun things when you’re angry! You promised me you’d try next time we met!”

“The color _still_ changes depending on my mental state but I can give it a try and make them change color now, Apple pie. Just for you.” 

As a proof his hair turned into a mix of blues, purples and pinks. Niffty was as pleased as a mom would with her child’s horrible drawings. “And cutting them?” 

“I don’t do magic, please don’t try to cut them.” Tama half laughed to conceal the shiver that only thought sent down his spine, particularly considering how excited Niffty sounded. “You know I don’t actually experiment much on them. I just let them be. Unlike Al, I haven’t had much time to be bored since I came down here so I guess I’ll do a makeover at some point, you know, like in those TV shows from the living world.”

“Who’s the new guy?” 

Oh dear lord of darkness, not _him_. Tama was fucked. 

“Alastor hired him to fix the webpage of the hotel.” Niffty commented. At some point she had finished braiding Tama’s longer tentacles, so it was time to find another source of entertainment. There was a huge smirk on her lips because she knew what would happen.

Husk sighed, he had been the victim of that smile of sharp teeth. “The name is Angel Dust, yours Sugar?” Pure syrupy sweet poison dripped from his lips. Poor guy and his absolute lack of confidence. This was the perfect mix for an absolute disaster. If Husk didn’t know Tama so well he would’ve thought Tama had a stroke. At least he was free from Angel’s teasing, so good luck!

Tama raised his eyes for the first time when Angel held out his hand, “A-Angel Dust? Ehm… I’m Tama, yeah... It’s a pleasure to meet you.” For his expression it was easy to tell how reluctantly he was shaking Angel’s hand out of awkwardness. His smile was closer to horror than delight. 

Husk could see this poor guy flushing red literally all the way up to the tips of his hair, but kept the same soft spoken voice and polite tone. Back to his work as soon as Angel let his hand go. “What kinda debt do ya have with Alastor to be doin’ this?”

Tama sipped his coffee even though Husk knew more than well it was scolding hot. “I hate you Al by the way!” Tama raised his voice with a tone a bit less well-mannered and then back to his same calm cadence, “I’m doing this pro-bono. I’m well aware that he could cook me into his jambalaya and I don’t dislike him most of the time, so I don’t have much trouble doing this kind of favors. I work in the art field so this is not much of a problem.” 

“Be nice and make some “sex on the beach” for me, can ya Husky?” Husk grunted but that was better than being in the receiving end of Angel’s wicked smirk, “art field you say? Are ya a painte’ o’ somethin’?”

Tama started doodling something in the sketch book he was using for the ‘rough draft’ —in his own words— of the homepage. “I take commissions, people ask me to draw things for them and I do it. From digital art to actual paintings. That depends on the client.”

“He’s a quite famous illustrator, adult content to be more specific! What can’t be done in actual pornography, my fellow cephalopod can do it!” Alastor's voice echoed through the hall from what seemed to be nowhere. Tama was now sliding down his chair like he wanted to hide. Pretty much like a kid embarrassed by his father. 

“So we work in the same type of business…” Angel was enjoying himself but wasn’t so casual anymore. His smile more carefully placed and his eyes fixed on Tama like he was trying to read something between the lines of Tama’s explanation, “I wonda’ how good you’re.”

There was a double meaning in those words but Tama ignored it and gave Angel a page of his sketchbook, “I can draw safe for work too.” 

Angel looked impressed for a change; it was a rough sketch of him but caught quite well his expression while he was teasing Tama. “You’re good indeed...” There was a moment of silence and Husk thought for a second that he had been transported to an actual porn movie. What Husk was about to point out was shut with a icy glare. Tama went back to work but Husk could tell he was still paying attention, “anythin’ that can’t be done physically, right?”

“As long as neither of the parts is a minor or there’s vore with actual models. Anything else, I’m more than willing to provide. It’s not my duty to kink-shame anyone. I just do my job and make sure to do it right. It’s easy to get a bad reputation if you get lousy so it’s a challenge to find new ways to catch people’s attention.” Tama fixed his posture and chugged a good third of his cup in one go, “do you want to take a look? You live here, I assume. All feedback is well-welcomed.”

Angel shifted closer, the tips of Tama’s tentacles were more purple than blue but didn’t pull away at all. “Ya surely are doin’ a betta job than goodie-two-shoes. I kinda get why Al hire’ ya.”

“The problem is to stay awake long enough to finish. I prefer doing things in one go or I get distracted. I would rather work 72 hrs straight than taking 2 weeks.” 

“You must be a tough boy to last that long... ain’t ya, Tentacles? Want me to keep ya up?” 

Now Tama was all pink and Angel was more than amused with his reactions, “thanks but no thanks, I-I need to work, you know?” Poor guy, he couldn’t tell Angel was just messing with him.

“If ya change your mind, let me know.” Unlike when Niffty was poking his hair, this time Tama’s tentacles curled around Angel’s fingers when he pet him as some sort of goodbye, “since ya’ll be around hea’ for awhile.” 

Tama dropped his head to the bar, “Husk, can I get a ‘Blow My Skull Off’? Forget it, two shots of vodka would be better, please. Bleach is fine too. Please, give me bleach.” 

“If you can’t handle a bit of Angel’s teasing, you're absolutely doomed, kiddo.” 

“That was a bit?”

Husk served him two double shots of vodka. “A tiny bit. Sure you can hold your alcohol? I don’t know if you lost your tolerance since the last time I saw you.” 

“I am already dead both outside and inside. I’m drinking my way through this project.” 

* * *

It must’ve been around dawn when Alastor went to check on his newest addition to the spectacle. Tama was still working, most of the details done with the precision he was expected to. 

They’ve known each other for what felt like an eternity, enough for Alastor to be sure about his professionalism. Alastor was used to checking on this shy octopus demon because no matter the rumors people spread about him; Tama was a very good listener. Alastor could ramble about anything and Tama would be in his bed full of sheets of paper, drawing a guy being fisted by another guy twice his size while the guy bellow was eating out a butch woman with a whip on her hand —on a vanilla day. Tama would always listen, Tama would never question his decisions. 

Like he said when Charlie questioned him about how he met Tama; he was a nice acquaintance of his that Alastor could probably consider a good friend. A recurrent company over the decades that knew too much meaningless information about him, and from who Alastor knew far too much key information. Under those rules, Alastor was sure that Tama would always pick the right card. 

After all, he was the only mortal soul he knew that turned into a demon without even once regretting the sin that brought him to hell. 

“Alastor.”

His voice was soft as a whisper, eyes glued on the screen. On top of the bar a flask full of coffee mixed with cheap whiskey. “Are you going to ask me why I decided to hire you for this?”

“No, we both know that the real answer isn’t something I was to know. I would have to be too blind or too naive to ignore that.”

“Charlie is blissfully unaware. I doubt Husk or Niffty suspect much, and none of them will ask unnecessary questions. Considering I’m the only one who knows the truth, it’s safe to assume you can accomplish your goal here. Am I such a bad person for lending you a hand, my friend?” 

The echo of a bitter laughter filled the empty halls, “you don’t lend hands Al; you’ll chop my whole arm off and then go straight for the throat.” Tama massaged his temples as he turned to look at him, pupils blown and vacant to the point they were more black than their usual luminescent blue. “Ms. Charlie is too good to be Lucifer’s daughter, that girl’s heart is too big for her body.”

“Oh my cher, we’re all demons down here.”

“But the only ones who are rotten to the core are us.” Tama’s pupils turned into a line, like a cat, “if you want to see her try, at least put a little of heart in helping her. I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt in the gutter we live. Either if her plan works or not.” 

“Are you accepting my offering?”

Tama turned around again, staring at the screen, “I am. Someone needs to make this place look good. I can do that. You already gathered the whole freak show, so I can sort of see why you decided to stick around them. It’s not like I have another choice. Every time you _ask_ it’s because I have no other choice.” His voice dropped and through the screen Alastor could see his eyes well up in tears of ink, the hint of a scared smile on his lips. “Al… I’m so hoping you’re wrong this time.”

Alastor had a hard time avoiding boredom, that was the only reason why he was there in first place. Adding someone else to his personal spectacle would only spice things up. He wanted to witness a story that hasn't been told yet. Perhaps then he would finally feel a little satisfied. In the meantime, running a hotel destined to an imminent doom wasn’t that bad. Dragging these old friends to tag along wasn’t a bad plan. It was his best show so far. 

“What would it be of the human soul without hope.”

“Even for souls doomed to hell.”

* * *

It was midday when Tama finally said “Done.”

Charlie checked the page from her phone and almost pinned Tama to the bar. “This is amazing.”

Tama laughed a little uncomfortable but didn’t push her away, “I used a server that can handle a decent amount of people online and made a corporate email account. Feel free to change the password, I set one by default. I can always update the server later if you need it.” Tama stretched when Charlie —a little embarrassed of her own excitement— gave him space and then continued, “do you have flyers or something similar? Digitized versions would be great.” She handed him a couple of prints of what was clearly an originally hand drawn flyer. His eyes drifting from the prints to Charlie and then to the prints again. “Oh my sweet lady you’re going to need more than this. With all due my respect… This is like a mother’s day gift from kindergarten. And one of those presents that moms don’t appreciate much.” 

She smiled trying not to appear too ashamed of her own attempts, “I’m sorry.”

Tama caught the drift and with a defeated grin palmed his own cheeks and fixed his tentacles, “しょうがない (It cannot be helped). Let’s make some new ones. There’s a lot of work to do in terms of social media but I will help, okay?” 

This might be the first time Tama actually smiled to the point of showing his pointy fangs and Charlie couldn’t help but think that he was a cute guy. Once you pass the whole judgmental staring phase. “Thanks for everything you’ve done for us so far. Get some rest, you worked the whole night.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m used to this.” He downplayed the subject, “I could use a shower though, may I borrow one of yours?”

“Of course, we can order take out afterwards if there’s anything you want to eat!”

“Sounds great.”

Charlie grabbed a hold of Tama’s sleeve to stop him before he asked Niffty for directions. “Wait, Tama.” He turned and nodded, “I was wondering… This will take a while and we may use an expert, you know, for online management and things like that. If you have time and it’s not much inconvenience… Also if you want to! Would you work for us as an actual member of the staff?”

Tama’s eyes fluttered, “do you want me to work here as community manager for the hotel?”

“Yes, if you are available. The payment wouldn’t be so good so I wouldn’t blame you if...”

More blinks, “are you offering me a room or should I commute?”

“You can stay here if you want. We’d be more than happy to have you here.” 

Tama hesitated for a bit and then held out his hand, “will be a pleasure to work with you, Ms. Charlie.”

“Charlie is fine. We look the same age! I must be older than you.”

Tama laughed but his cold hand gripped hers softly, “I’m really not as young as you think I am but, I’ll be on your care Charlie.” 

Maybe Alastor had made for once a decision that Charlie was sure would actually work.


End file.
